Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt our daily feed of retrowave news to bring you a special bulletin from NewRetrowave Radio News. At twenty minutes before eight, central time, Professor Lacombe of the Paris Observatory reports observing several explosions of incandescent gas, occurring at regular intervals on Planet X.
The spectroscope indicates the gas to be hydrogen and moving towards the earth with enormous velocity. What was once but yet an unknown occurrence amongst the infinite mysteries of our galaxy has now become a painfully clear warning. Another wave of invaders have spawned and are heading straight to earth. Hollywood shall once again burn in what is now known as the ‘The Age of the Saucers’!
Kansas City authorities are already reporting violent rumblings and theremin-like whistling sounds amidst extremely turbulent winds. Kansas State officials advise staying indoors, as a wave of what seem to be millions of flashing lights have been spotted on the eastern horizon. Our local correspondent is now reported missing, as evidence of our helplessness keeps piling up in the face of yet another global catastrophe.
In other equally disturbing news, we have just received reports from the city of Paris, where similar reports of otherworldly sonic havoc seem to have been met with what can only be described as mass hysteria. The Parisians have flooded the streets and are now dancing in an apocalyptic frenzy. French fatalism has officially kicked into full gear, ladies and gentlemen.
The time has come to panic! Lock your doors, turn the volume of your radio set to full volume, grab your rifle and sweetheart and pray. If you’re not shivering in your boots to the sound of Hollywood Burns, you’re not paying close enough attention.
Catch the latest news of our impending doom in ‘The Age of the Saucers’ on Bandcamp and Spotify.
