Sam Haine is simply a writer born on the East Coast who enjoys cooking. He is the contributor of the monthly Retro Movie Review and the recurring ‘Remember This…’
email: sam.haine@beta.newretrowave.com
It’s one of those nights when the rain stops and the insects usher in the noise from outside the window & the darkness beyond. It’s one of those nights when you write a brand new movie review and you’re ready to submit it. Then it’s one of those nights when your mood changes and you decide to submit an entirely different movie instead.
This is one of those nights – Triple Impact (1992) from Davian International, the same company that gave us BLOOD RING (1991). Starring former kickboxing World Champion Dale “Apollo” Cook, Ron Hall (Orgazmo, Bloodsport 2) and directed by David Hung. Distributed by Futura Home Video in 1993. This also stars former kickboxer and IFBA Bantamweight champion Bridgett “Baby Doll” Riley, Robert Marius and Steve Rogers who wrote the script. Runtime is 97 minutes.
Why does Ron Hall remind me of Lebron James in this film? Did Dale Cook just hit somebody with a Shoryuken? Why did that guy’s expression change in less than two seconds? Is this story is strung together with office tape? Is the main hero wearing a fanny pack? Those are the things you will say while watching this film. You will be sure to thank me when you do and if you don’t, I changed my number.
Two soldiers find a giant golden Buddha worth millions. Immediately they go all “Smeagle” and try to off each other, resulting in one losing his vision and the other going insane. Fast forward to the early nineties and two down n’ out fighters are scamming underground fights for a buck or two. They save a homeless person from an assault and get thrown into the crossfire of a conspiracy between two former friends, smugglers, hitmen, guerilla fighters and the ugly nature of greed. Oh Jesus wait a minute – did I just see a training montage?
This film is filmed in glorious hand held analogue and probably with a portable camera the size of your Playstation 4. Is that the strip club from Kickboxer? Oh man, this soundtrack comes straight out of Kojima’s Snatcher or some arcade fighting game. And the winner for best training montage song that no one has heard of and nobody can find goes to “Fight to Win”.
The acting is over the top and wonderfully performed in the same way you and your friends would if you all decided to drink a case of Nat’ ICE and tackle some gravity bongs before making a movie in your cousin’s garage and the local park. The fighting and stunts are good. The locations are obviously not where the movie tells you they are. Plus the video tracking is a little off. You can’t lose with this movie!
It’s a cheese-fest. It’s a mess. It’s fun. It’s dedicated to my two best friends and all the crappy caseless VHS tapes we use to watch and make fun of back in the day; this being one of them. It’s magic time and It’s the 240th anniversary of the Nation’s birth. Take it or overcome it as you like but, please take off your shoes and put down the friggin’ fireworks and relax for some mindless action in the same spirit as any Cameron Mitchell movie or something else starring Kathy Ireland. C’mon and relax with us and chill with your finger on that damn rewind button with 1992’s Triple Impact. And no this is not porn.
